Hard times, even now in one of the nicest months of the year, can happen. Maybe your firm is now on shaky terms because of Brexit, maybe you have had a bad performance review, maybe you are unemployed, maybe you are in the midst of personal, family, or health problems. Maybe you live in a place where peace is threatened and safety is not sure. I have friends in each of these situations, and I know I am not alone in saying that for many, hard times are upon us. Hard times are part of life and I have come to believe it is my -- and your -- response to difficulties that makes us grow. What we do in the hard times is key.
Our response matters more than the situation.
Here are some ideas about what a positive response in difficult times might look like:
Take responsibility, but only for what you are really responsible for, and not more than that!
When I blow it, I need to own up to it, but at the same time, not beat myself up. We are all human and we have to admit that we make mistakes and fall short of our ideals sometimes. Also, we need to move on and to try again. Wallowing is not allowed, growth comes by action.
On top of that, do not take more responsibility than what you have – remember it is not always us who are at fault.
Make sure not to "other-ise"!
If I am not at fault, I do not need to see the other entity a "bad person, or a bad group". It is not "them against me". If I want real change to happen, I need to see the other person/entity as a human being, too and accept that s/he can make mistakes just as I can. Our common humanity should bind us together, not separate us. It is what can bring us together, if we let it. Isn't that wonderful?
Self-care is key!!!
Whether I make the mess, someone else does, or it just happens, I need to remember to care for myself. Every day, I try and think of three things for which I am thankful. I try and do something good for myself: body, mind and soul.
Here are some ideas:
• Exercise: even a twenty-minute walk can help clear your mind, and put you on a more positive path.
• Sit down and write: journaling or writing lists can help you focus on the issue and get it off your chest.
• Get social: join others and you might find out you are in the same boat as your friends, in this case you can support one another and enjoy each other despite the hard times. Remembering we are not alone is key.
• Get physical: a hug can do as much for you as chemical medicines, you know!
• Take a nap: a short nap can rejuvenate and give you fresh perspective.
• Read a good book: even non-bookworms can enjoy a chapter once in a while. I can eat books, and find them a great escape for an afternoon or so.
• Eat good food: there is nothing like treating yourself to your favorite meal or dessert.
No matter what, remember to respond well and keep in mind that we are all in the same boat.
Do take care,
Patricia Jehle
