Does it sometimes seem like everyone around you is confident and sure of themselves?
As a coach, a lot of my work focuses on confidence building. My extensive work with senior managers and business leaders has shown me that everyone suffers from self-doubt from time to time. So how do they manage to be confident? They know that confidence is not something you have, it's something you create.
Being confident is nothing more than a belief in yourself. It's the feeling of certainty that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to. Confidence comes fromwithin, and you can find ways of being more confident at any time.
Creating confidence is not about knowing it all, it's about trusting that no matter what happens in a particular situation, you'll be able to handle it and learn from the outcome.
WHAT DOES NOT KILL ME, MAKES ME STRONGER!
Learning how to believe in yourself means building up confidence in your abilities as well as falling in love with yourself, and accepting the parts of your personality that make you unique.
Self-belief means, realizing that you are responsible for your life, and that only you are the driver of your own success. Being confident about yourself doesn't guarantee permanent success, but it will help you to embrace life with all ups and downs. As soon as you realize that each challenge and each resistance in your life will bring you new skills, strength and opportunities to grow, your self-confidence muscle is well trained.
If you're struggling with self-doubt, it's likely you're focused on mistakes you've made in the past. Unfortunately we still live in a zero error culture. In schools we quite often find it how children are pointed out their mistakes. If they answer 9 out of 10 questions correctly, the one mistake is highlighted in red and given much more importance than the nine correct answers. We all want to learn from mistakes, but focusing on your success and talents will boost your self-confidence much more than giving much importance to a single mistake.
WHERE FOCUS GOES, ENERGY FLOWS!
If you focus on your failures and on the negative, chances are high you will be struggling with limiting beliefs.
What's your story?
What do you believe about you and your life?
Are those beliefs empowering you or preventing you from living a happy, fulfilled life?
We all have patterns and believes saved on our hard disk, our subconscious mind. Our beliefs are based on generalizations we make about our past. And unfortunately, many of us are wired to focus on the painful experiences and form pessimistic beliefs about what that means for our life and the potential for our future.
How many times have you heard someone say "that's just my luck" or "bad things always happen to me"when something negative happens? No matter how much good may happen, we give the bad more attention, and, in turn, give the negative story power.
"Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right. (Henry Ford)
This personal narrative and our own limiting beliefs prevent us from reaching our true potential and transforming the quality of our lives. If you continue to believe the same story, it will continue to be true. But when you change your story, you can change your life.
It all starts with creating an awareness for your thoughts and emotions, what is the negative story and sentences that you tell yourself over and over again? Once you've identified them, it is usually more than one sentence, and it often starts with "I cannot..., I've never been able to...", you want to question your belief and realize that it is only a belief.
Replace your old truths with new ones.
Back them up with reasoning and success stories, and trust that this is the real truth. Depending on your beliefs, this process can be much more effective, if you speak with a coach. By vocalising what is going on, it becomes easier to reframe the outcome.
With an empowering story, individuals tend to find effective strategies, and effective strategies yield real results. We all develop emotional habits, or patterns, that influence how we perceive our lives. The states that we find ourselves the most become the most powerful filter, determining whether or not we find the strategies necessary to succeed. By reconditioning your mind, you will be making a conscious effort to transition into a new state of being that will eventually change your world. Instead of being ruled by fear or doubt, you will feel empowered by confidence and positivity.
It all starts with you, find your inner source of strength. Hold yourself accountable for your thoughts, your emotions, your actions, your habits, your destiny, and always keep going. As you practice believing in yourself, the most important thing is to never give up. You'll inevitably encounter obstacles, but it's how you react to them that matters.
